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Drug Rehab – Part 1

admin — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 04:21:29 +0000

I was admitted to drug rehab at Ridgeview in the suburbs of Atlanta, GA on January 4th, 1996. First, I was placed into cottage “C” for detoxification and drug testing. I told the staff that I had not drank any alcohol or used any drugs besides marijuana in the last 3 months. They definitely did not believe me because most addicts are known to lie about their drug use to other people. I figured what was there to lie about now, it was over and I had to quit.

I recall meeting a few different people in cottage “C”. These individuals were people that I would strike up conversations with during outside smoke breaks. Everyone, I mean everyone smoked cigarettes. I noticed that my cigarette smoking greatly increased immediately upon stopping my drug use. I think it primarily had to do with the strong obsession toward marijuana and trying to make-up for it. One thing that I remember about one of these smoke breaks was talking to an individual who told me the doctors found out that he was bipolar. I was beside myself when I heard this information. I was a psychology major at a university, so I had a little bit of knowledge on the subject. I thought to myself that it would be terrible if they found something like that wrong me.

After spending 24 hours in cottage “C”, I was moved into the Half-way house. This is the place where you go after they feel you are not going to hurt yourself (or others) and that you have successfully been detoxified from all drugs. Treatment centers really have to be careful especially for alcoholism. Alcoholics can die from withdrawal if not treated properly. It was known in the early days of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) for sponsors to care liquor with them to keep the new comers from dying from withdrawal.

Once at the halfway house, I was settled into a room with another individual. I can not remember who it was to this date. However; he seemed pretty nice like most of the other people there. It didn’t take long to realize that a lot of wealthy people including doctors and lawyers were also there with me trying to stop using various drugs. I recall that they had 2 group meetings everyday in the halfway house. One meeting was early in the morning around 8:00AM and the other one was in the afternoon around 4:00PM. Each one of these meetings consisted of everyone telling how they felt that day. But, before each person began to talk, he or she would state whether or not they were an alcoholic or an addict. Some people even stated that they were both. When it was my turn to speak for the first time, I stated that I was a Marijuana addict.

In between circle based meetings, we had classroom like schedules. Each class lasted about 1 hour and were instructed by different teachers (drug counselors). For the first week, I was pretty cheerful and answered questions while a lot of people made fun of how slow I talked. To me, I did not seem to speak in slow motion, but everyone else clearly noticed and made fun of me from time to time. This obviously was an effect of my long term use of marijuana. But, it wasn’t just my speaking that was impaired. Marijuana had actually slowed down my thought processes. This was one reason why I had been unable to finish my 4 year college degree in psychology. Honestly, my mind was not nearly as sharp as it was just 5 or 6 years earlier. Marijuana had turned me into a slow thinking, slow talking person. These problems along with a few others like the inability to read well because my eyes lost focus quickly would continue to cause me problems for the next 2 or 3 years. Click to Continue ->>

Drug Rehab – Part 2

admin — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 19:05:50 +0000

On the first or second day in the half-way house, I went out with friends to a movie “Get Shorty”. I think it was at the dollar theater at the time, so it was cheap. This was my first venture away from the half-way house since I was admitted to rehab. Somehow the conversation of having just one beer was brought up and the others in the car stated that this was not something that you could do because it was cause you to go back to your drug of choice. Of course, alcohol was the drug of choice for a lot of people there in the first place. I did not fully understand because I really didn’t feel that I had a problem with alcohol. However; I was only kidding myself because I was definitely an alcoholic. The only reason why I switched over to using marijuana years earlier was because the side effects were much less than alcohol. I always drank until I got sick and I did not like getting sick. My high school friends used to make fun of me once they saw that I was drinking my 6th beer. They would say: Here goes Steve again trying to drink that 6th beer and expecting that he will not get sick this time. I could never stop drinking until I was drunk, but it was definitely not my drug of choice, marijuana obviously was it.

During that first week in drug rehab I met some really nice people. One of my favorite individuals was a guy named “Jay”. Jay and I would have a blast at the 8AM and 4PM circle discussions. We joked around like crazy and were truly enjoying ourselves. During the circle meetings I was still stating my first name and indicating that I was a marijuana addict and that was all. At the circle meetings, the lady in charge of the Half-way house would make statements regarding various things to us. There were at least 2 or 3 people that she made comments about how it was there second or third time in rehab. She would say things like: Are you convinced this time that you really are an alcoholic and an addict? Do you think you will be able to stay sober this time when you leave?

During that first week, we immediately were directed by the staff and counselors that we must attend 12 step meetings or we would not be able to stay sober. This was my first real introduction to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). I say real introduction because when I was 19, a girl friend of mine took me to an AA meeting. I was really only there to watch one of her friends pick-up a chip. I remember her even stating that I was an alcoholic just like the people in the meeting. Of course, I did not pay any attention to what she said at that time. So, technically I had been to an alcoholics anonymous meeting before and had never put two and two together about what rehab was going to involve.

When I started attending meetings (this time for real in rehab) I listened and was shocked at some of the things I heard. Some people stated terrible things that had happened to them directly do to the effects of using drugs and alcohol. This was not something that I had in common because my drug of choice was marijuana and it did not cause me to spend all of my money and ruin my life (yet). The other thing that I immediately noticed was a big age difference between me and the other people attending these 12 step meetings. I was only 26 years old which is the only reason why my drug use had not caused me a lot of problems. It only makes sense now that I look back at my age and what I was doing at that time. If I would have used for another 10 years I probably would have found myself in 12 step meetings stating how my life had been ruined.

I should also mention the withdrawal effects that I was experiencing during the first week. Mainly I was just craving my drug of choice (Marijuana) or frankly any drug. The mental obsession and cravings were almost unbearable. My mind was stuck between wanting to stop using drugs and not. At night, I would dream like crazy. So, really the only withdrawal symptoms that I experienced were unusual dreams and that strong craving that makes your toes curl up.
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The Dangers of Withdrawal After Drug Abuse

admin — Sun, 31 May 2009 07:50:07 +0000

You are ready to quit, to put down the “dope,” to stop putting powerful and dangerous chemicals into your body. If you’re ready to quit drugs, it often comes down to far more than simply saying “I want to quit.” Yes, that is incredibly important and powerful! However, most strong drugs out there require professional help from doctors and detox centers.
So what can you expect in terms of withdrawal? If you don’t know, usually powerful drugs like painkillers or cocaine where you have a heavy dependence require the help of a detox center. Some don’t always require it, and it’s a personal family decision, but it’s always best to be safe and go to a doctor if you trying to come off painkillers and anti-anxiety medications.
Asking for medical help isn’t a weakness, because drug addiction is a serious affair. It’s also nothing to be ashamed of. What should you expect in terms of withdrawal? This guide goes over major drugs you may need help with.
Withdrawal Symptoms of Major Drugs:
Cocaine: Cocaine is such a powerful drug that it often takes professional help to come off from. The incredible highs, followed by incredible lows, can take you to a point near suicidal or completely manic. According to studies, you will often experience agitation, insomnia, anxiety, depression, fatigue, shakes, and many other states of high and low.
Heroin: While not as popular in some forms as cocaine, heroin isn’t something to be played with, as it’s one of the most addictive street drugs available. You can expect problems with body functions like watery eyes and stomach aches, as well as major mental problems like panic and anxiety.
Oxycontin: Like many painkiller drugs, Oxycontin numbs your senses. Its effects on the body are highly addictive too. You can expect extreme cravings, fatigue, hot and cold sweats, insomnia, and depression.
This brief list offers the common withdrawal symptons different forms of drugs have. There are, as you can see, many clear distinctions between them—but also similarities. Highs and lows, feelings of mania and panic—are all common to drug abusers. If you try to beat all of this on your own, you will likely not only go through a struggle mentally, but face major health problems. It’s simple: you’re dependent on the drugs physically, and you risk death by not getting professional help. On more positive note, there are thousands of clinics across the country who can help you. Once you get out, the support of family and friends is crucial in defeating drug addiction once and for all.

Drug Rehab – Part 6

admin — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:41:49 +0000

On the 10th day at Ridgeview I experienced anger. I remember the night before sitting in bed thinking about all of the money this place was charging and how we were expected to do those “chores”. Wasn’t this place supposed to be club med at $1000 a day? Why were the beds so hard that we slept in, and the pillows weren’t even soft? I know now that these were psychological tricks for all of the patients. Basically, they were trying to push our buttons to get us angry. The next morning I had my regular visit with my main psychiatrist. I told him that I had calculated how much money the treatment center was bringing in and it was ridiculous that our living conditions were so terrible. I also mentioned the doctor’s salaries and apparently pissed him off because it turned into more of an argument than a session. Soon after leaving his office I encountered Susan (the halfway house manager). Susan told me that since I failed to make up my bed that morning that I needed to write a paper on “Why it was important to make up your bed in the morning”. This was the final straw, I became absolutely furious. I got so mad that I gathered up all of my things put them in my suitcases and walked straight out the front door. The funny thing was on my way through the parking lot I encountered my second psychiatrist coming up the hill in his truck. I chatted with him as if nothing special was going on (with my suitcases in hand) for whatever reason he thought I was just doing laundry or something. After talking with him, I walked across the street went into the lobby of an elderly care facility and called a taxi. I had the taxi driver drive me home to my garage apartment (behind my parents’ house). I then convinced my parents that I could just continue going to AA meetings and save them a lot of money. However; later that evening Dr. Sommers (the psychiatrist that I ran into in the parking lot) called and convinced my parents that my chances of recovery were slim if I did not return to the treatment center.

My parents were smart enough to listen to the doctor. After staying home for two days (without relapsing) I returned to the treatment center. I noticed that when I came back to the facility that Susan actually treated me better than she did before. I think there were two reasons behind this, one I had finally gotten angry and two they knew what I did when I got angry (leave). Getting angry (or pissed off as hell), I found was part of the recovery process. So basically, the entire staff was intentionally doing things to try and aggravate me so that I would get angry. The place was rigged from the chores down to the hard bed and pillows. The anger did not come from the money being spent, or the paper that I was told to write, it was the direct result of all the grudges and resentments that I had been holding onto for years. Most addicts have a lot of resentments that need to be addressed. The 4th step in Alcoholics Anonymous helps to remove these resentments or grudges. This step helps you to see where you were wrong and how you actively participated and caused some of these problems. It also helps you to heal from bad events that were not your fault.

Now that I’d completed the anger part of the treatment center, what the heck was next? I sure know that the cravings were killing me. We were all completely obsessed with drugs and alcohol. Almost every conversation ended up with drugs and alcohol being mentioned. We had a conversation about what everyone would do if they were to relapse with $20,000. People made fun of me because l stated that I’d buy a pound of weed. They all thought I was nuts and couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to buy coke.

My second roommate was a professional football player who drove a two door BMW coupe. Jay said that there was so much coke in his car that he felt he could get a good bump off the powder between the seams in the leather seats. Of course we had people who were relapsing which gave us something even more exciting to talk about. There was a guy who disappeared for an entire weekend on a crack binge. He and some others were sent off to a place in Texas. Texas was not a good thing, I knew that for sure. It was stated that: “In Texas they didn’t just show you where the water was, but they also showed you how to drink it.” Whatever the heck that meant, I do not know, but I did not want to end-up on that 3 to 6 month trip. It was fun to laugh again, but it sucked craving for anything and everything. I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and going nuts. Thank god cigarettes were still cheap back then.
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This is my stopping point right now, but I will continue my story soon.