Say No To Pot » rehab

Drug Rehab – Part 1

admin — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 04:21:29 +0000

I was admitted to drug rehab at Ridgeview in the suburbs of Atlanta, GA on January 4th, 1996. First, I was placed into cottage “C” for detoxification and drug testing. I told the staff that I had not drank any alcohol or used any drugs besides marijuana in the last 3 months. They definitely did not believe me because most addicts are known to lie about their drug use to other people. I figured what was there to lie about now, it was over and I had to quit.

I recall meeting a few different people in cottage “C”. These individuals were people that I would strike up conversations with during outside smoke breaks. Everyone, I mean everyone smoked cigarettes. I noticed that my cigarette smoking greatly increased immediately upon stopping my drug use. I think it primarily had to do with the strong obsession toward marijuana and trying to make-up for it. One thing that I remember about one of these smoke breaks was talking to an individual who told me the doctors found out that he was bipolar. I was beside myself when I heard this information. I was a psychology major at a university, so I had a little bit of knowledge on the subject. I thought to myself that it would be terrible if they found something like that wrong me.

After spending 24 hours in cottage “C”, I was moved into the Half-way house. This is the place where you go after they feel you are not going to hurt yourself (or others) and that you have successfully been detoxified from all drugs. Treatment centers really have to be careful especially for alcoholism. Alcoholics can die from withdrawal if not treated properly. It was known in the early days of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) for sponsors to care liquor with them to keep the new comers from dying from withdrawal.

Once at the halfway house, I was settled into a room with another individual. I can not remember who it was to this date. However; he seemed pretty nice like most of the other people there. It didn’t take long to realize that a lot of wealthy people including doctors and lawyers were also there with me trying to stop using various drugs. I recall that they had 2 group meetings everyday in the halfway house. One meeting was early in the morning around 8:00AM and the other one was in the afternoon around 4:00PM. Each one of these meetings consisted of everyone telling how they felt that day. But, before each person began to talk, he or she would state whether or not they were an alcoholic or an addict. Some people even stated that they were both. When it was my turn to speak for the first time, I stated that I was a Marijuana addict.

In between circle based meetings, we had classroom like schedules. Each class lasted about 1 hour and were instructed by different teachers (drug counselors). For the first week, I was pretty cheerful and answered questions while a lot of people made fun of how slow I talked. To me, I did not seem to speak in slow motion, but everyone else clearly noticed and made fun of me from time to time. This obviously was an effect of my long term use of marijuana. But, it wasn’t just my speaking that was impaired. Marijuana had actually slowed down my thought processes. This was one reason why I had been unable to finish my 4 year college degree in psychology. Honestly, my mind was not nearly as sharp as it was just 5 or 6 years earlier. Marijuana had turned me into a slow thinking, slow talking person. These problems along with a few others like the inability to read well because my eyes lost focus quickly would continue to cause me problems for the next 2 or 3 years. Click to Continue ->>

Drug Rehab – Part 2

admin — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 19:05:50 +0000

On the first or second day in the half-way house, I went out with friends to a movie “Get Shorty”. I think it was at the dollar theater at the time, so it was cheap. This was my first venture away from the half-way house since I was admitted to rehab. Somehow the conversation of having just one beer was brought up and the others in the car stated that this was not something that you could do because it was cause you to go back to your drug of choice. Of course, alcohol was the drug of choice for a lot of people there in the first place. I did not fully understand because I really didn’t feel that I had a problem with alcohol. However; I was only kidding myself because I was definitely an alcoholic. The only reason why I switched over to using marijuana years earlier was because the side effects were much less than alcohol. I always drank until I got sick and I did not like getting sick. My high school friends used to make fun of me once they saw that I was drinking my 6th beer. They would say: Here goes Steve again trying to drink that 6th beer and expecting that he will not get sick this time. I could never stop drinking until I was drunk, but it was definitely not my drug of choice, marijuana obviously was it.

During that first week in drug rehab I met some really nice people. One of my favorite individuals was a guy named “Jay”. Jay and I would have a blast at the 8AM and 4PM circle discussions. We joked around like crazy and were truly enjoying ourselves. During the circle meetings I was still stating my first name and indicating that I was a marijuana addict and that was all. At the circle meetings, the lady in charge of the Half-way house would make statements regarding various things to us. There were at least 2 or 3 people that she made comments about how it was there second or third time in rehab. She would say things like: Are you convinced this time that you really are an alcoholic and an addict? Do you think you will be able to stay sober this time when you leave?

During that first week, we immediately were directed by the staff and counselors that we must attend 12 step meetings or we would not be able to stay sober. This was my first real introduction to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). I say real introduction because when I was 19, a girl friend of mine took me to an AA meeting. I was really only there to watch one of her friends pick-up a chip. I remember her even stating that I was an alcoholic just like the people in the meeting. Of course, I did not pay any attention to what she said at that time. So, technically I had been to an alcoholics anonymous meeting before and had never put two and two together about what rehab was going to involve.

When I started attending meetings (this time for real in rehab) I listened and was shocked at some of the things I heard. Some people stated terrible things that had happened to them directly do to the effects of using drugs and alcohol. This was not something that I had in common because my drug of choice was marijuana and it did not cause me to spend all of my money and ruin my life (yet). The other thing that I immediately noticed was a big age difference between me and the other people attending these 12 step meetings. I was only 26 years old which is the only reason why my drug use had not caused me a lot of problems. It only makes sense now that I look back at my age and what I was doing at that time. If I would have used for another 10 years I probably would have found myself in 12 step meetings stating how my life had been ruined.

I should also mention the withdrawal effects that I was experiencing during the first week. Mainly I was just craving my drug of choice (Marijuana) or frankly any drug. The mental obsession and cravings were almost unbearable. My mind was stuck between wanting to stop using drugs and not. At night, I would dream like crazy. So, really the only withdrawal symptoms that I experienced were unusual dreams and that strong craving that makes your toes curl up.
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Drug Rehab – Part 3

admin — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 08:25:53 +0000

The person in charge of the halfway house at RidgeView was Susan. Susan was a very strong individual and very commanding. She definitely had the halfway house under control for me and the other participants. One of the things that I noticed early on was they wanted you to do chores while you were in the halfway house. The thinking behind having us perform chores was that they felt most alcoholics and addicts were being taken care of by another individual. This enabling of an alcoholic/addict was something that the treatment center wanted to eradicate as quickly as possible. One of the problems that I noticed with drug rehab is the fact that everybody was categorized into one big group. Unfortunately, there is probably no other way to run a treatment center than to use this method. The main problem with using this of course is that everyone is different. Since everyone is different it makes treating alcoholism and drug addiction that much harder.

Most of the people in the treatment center that I encountered had bad personal relationships with their family members and possibly their siblings. The alcoholic/addict was responsible for these bad relationships 9 times out of 10. However; the individual that the alcoholic or addict married or was in a relationship with was also typically making the problem worse. Again, this problem was made worse by the enabling that was taking place by the people surrounding the alcoholic/addict (family members, friends, siblings, etc.). Enabling is when you provide money or some sort of assistance to the alcoholic/addict to allow him or her to easily continue using drugs/drinking alcohol. This enabling is prevalent in most alcoholic and addict lifestyles. Because my drug of choice was marijuana, enabling really wasn’t an issue with me. Marijuana is relatively cheap and the type of job that I had at the time allowed me to pay for my habit without placing a financial burden on me or someone else. This may or may not be the case with other marijuana users. If you find yourself in a rehab facility like I found myself, just keep in mind that it’s impossible for the doctors and counselors to run the rehab without putting everyone into one group and labeling everyone in a certain way.

During the first week in the halfway house my parents were brought in for meetings with me and the other counselors. They were told about how they could possibly be enabling me to continue using drugs and drinking alcohol. Again to this day, I really don’t feel that I was being enabled. If I was being enabled it was not to a great degree. However; given the circumstances my parents were eager to listen to what the counselors had to say as far as their possible enabling part was concerned. So to summarize; part of the first week in the halfway house consisted of meetings with the drug counselors individually and some meetings where my parents attended. The other thing that was taking place during my stay at the halfway house was a very organized daily curriculum. This curriculum consisted of waking up at 7:30AM drinking a cup of coffee, smoking as many cigarettes as I possibly could and going to my first class by 8:00AM. The class starting at 8:00AM and most of the other classes throughout the day consisted of small group conversations between me and five are six other individuals (other addicts) and a given drug counselor. I quickly realized during the short meetings with various drug counselors (in these small classrooms) that the other individuals at the rehab facility had problems with relationships that I had not experienced. Again, I really feel that this goes back to my age of 26 and the fact that I didn’t have a wife or any children.
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Drug Rehab – Part 4

admin — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 09:15:06 +0000

The first week at drug rehab consisted of this daily routine of going to meetings in small groups with counselors, as well as meeting with family members and drug counselors. In the evenings after these meetings with various drug counselors and possibly a short meeting with a psychiatrist earlier in the day, we attended AA meetings. We all had sign-off cards in which we were supposed to hand to the person chairing the meeting after that meeting was over. The chairperson would sign-off that we had attended that AA meeting. Everybody was instructed to go to at least one AA meeting every day while in rehab. However the treatment center was really unable to control what you did in the evenings. Some of us, (me included) decided that we didn’t need to go to an AA meeting every night. Again, this first week in rehab I was still just referring to myself as a marijuana addict. Truly, I was in denial that I was an alcoholic as well. One evening in particular I and my new found friend Jay decided that it would be fun if we went to a local bar and had just one beer and then attend a movie. We had made this decision while driving back from the local cigar shop where Jay bought some cigars.
For whatever reason, we needed to stop back by the halfway house before going out that night. Once we entered the halfway house some other addicts spotted me and Jay and insisted that we go with them to an AA meeting, because they knew neither one of us had been to a meeting in a few days. This was the first of what I would refer to as “strange events” that happened to me in early recovery. If it had not been for the other people in the halfway house that evening, Jay and I would have gone to the movies and would have relapsed. After attending the AA meeting that night I realized what a big mistake I almost made. Alcoholics and addicts must refrain from the using drugs and alcohol. Any use of alcohol or other drug typically will cause the craving effect to reoccur in that person. The craving phenomenon is so strong that an alcoholic/addict will usually migrate his way back to his drug of choice. This migration may take some time. In fact, you might be able to get away with drinking alcohol instead of smoking pot for a couple months. But sooner or later you will find yourself using your drug of choice again. The main problem I faced in early recovery was realizing that I was also an alcoholic and could not drink or use any drugs again. This “almost relapse” was caused by a denial. Denial is not believing that you have an alcohol or drug problem. Denial is something that you will find prevalent in almost every alcoholic or addict in the beginning of their recovery. Denial in itself is probably the worst part of the disease. Denial is probably the hardest and most difficult thing for the drug counselors, the family members, and the psychiatrist to arrest in the mind of the alcoholic and or addict. If it wasn’t for denial, alcoholism and drug addiction would be much easier to treat. At the treatment center, I learned that addiction itself had a specific goal. The goal of addiction “the disease” is to kill the individual in whatever possible way it can. The killing of the individual can be accomplished by the disease in so many ways. The disease might cause a person to overdose on drugs, the disease might cause the individual to get into a car wreck, the disease could even cause the person to even commit suicide.

The reason people have such a hard time stopping is because of denial. Once the addict or alcoholic can get past denial (and want to stop) he or she is on their way to recovery. For me, the denial was also very strong. The type of denial that I experienced felt like a war going on inside my head. To combat this war I used some of the early sayings that I’ve learned in AA meetings. The one I used the most was: “fake it until you make it”. I would continue to use “fake it until you make it” for quite some time (maybe 6 months) after leaving the treatment center.
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Before I quit – Part 3

admin — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 22:55:57 +0000

By age 25, I was really addicted to Marijuana. Anyone who tells you that Marijuana is not addictive is a complete liar. This was my drug of choice hands down. In fact, at the age of 25 I really didn’t drink that much or do any other drugs regularly. My one and only drug was Marijuana. Well, I tried and tried to quit on my own. My little brother who lived with me at the time was constantly trying to get me to quit. He said that he tried to be “Mean”, then he tried to be “Nice” and no matter what he did I kept on smoking pot. I used to write notes on my dresser at night when I went to bed title “DSP”. This meant, Don’t Smoke Pot. I lived in a garage apartment behind my parent’s house and did not want them to accidentally see the full writing, so I created this short abbreviation. I cannot tell you how many times I put this note on my dresser at night. It just didn’t matter; the mental obsession to smoke pot the next day was just too strong. No matter how hard I tried, I could not stop smoking pot.
Well, you can probably imagine what happened next. That little brother of mine had given up trying to help me in his own little way. So he finally told my parents about my problem. I woke up one morning to a phone call from my parent’s home (about 100 yards from our little apartment). I believe my sister was the one that called me that morning. She told us that we were all going to the doctor for an issue regarding my mother. Well, I gathered my things wallet, keys, half and once of pot, etc. and went to this doctor for my “Mothers” problem.
I noticed as we were pulling into this place that the name looked a little familiar. “Ridgeview” I thought to myself, why is my mother going to see a doctor out here. Of course, the entire family was with me and we all sat down in a circle with this doctor. The first thing out of his mouth was “You must be Steven”. That’s when it hit me that I had been intervened. Oh yes, just like the famous Drug Intervention show on TV today. Everyone went around telling me all these things about how I needed to quit. I should mention that my parents never even knew I had a problem until my little brother told them. They were absolutely clueless naive parents. Anyway, this circle of absolute humiliation and crying continued. The thing that still makes me a little mad to this day was that “I would have gone if they would have just asked me in the first place”. However; my parents were not willing to take any chances, so it went down as described and of course I went right into Drug Rehab “for a couple of days”.

At the time, I thought “How will they fix me?” I had thoughts like maybe they were going to just hold me there for a while and give me some medicine. I really didn’t know what was going to happen. The first day consisted of staying in cottage “C”. Cottage “C” was really for everyone including the mental patients that were entering the facility. I had to stay there for 24 hours. I guess you could say that it was also the detoxify room. Yes, on January 4, 1996 I was admitted to into drug rehab. This is where my story of recovery begins. I’m going to continue adding to my recovery story on a regular basis. Right HERE….
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Jail Time

admin — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 01:58:48 +0000

Unfortunately, people make too many assumptions on how I feel about the legalization of marijuana. Marijuana does not need to be legalized because it tells our youth that it’s okay to do one more drug. So instead of saying it’s okay to drink, we are also saying it’s okay to drink and smoke pot. Why would we want to add-on another drug? We can’t make alcohol illegal; it’s just way too late for that now. If it wasn’t and we could switch the two drugs then I would actually support that idea. Let’s face it, the addicts are the ones that get behind the wheels of a car and run over a family. The two drugs together are much more deadly than each one separately. But, if we want less deaths, and less problems with addiction we can not say “Hey kids, while you’re drinking go ahead and fire up a joint too.”

Being an addict, I’ll be the first one to say that we’ve screwed it up for all of the “normal people” in the world. We are the ones that run over people, hurt others and generally do bad things because we drink and use too many drugs. But, that’s the way of the world. Sometimes the bad apples ruin it for everyone else. I guess you could say the same for the health care industry. If it wasn’t for those people who got sick all of the time then it would be cheaper for the rest of us.

I am also firmly against putting “most” people in jail for selling drugs. The judges need to send people to rehab and not prison. Just because I don’t think we need to add another drug to the “OK LIST”, doesn’t mean I feel people should be put in prison for selling drugs. Each case needs to be evaluated separately and fairly.

The Dangers of Withdrawal After Drug Abuse

admin — Sun, 31 May 2009 07:50:07 +0000

You are ready to quit, to put down the “dope,” to stop putting powerful and dangerous chemicals into your body. If you’re ready to quit drugs, it often comes down to far more than simply saying “I want to quit.” Yes, that is incredibly important and powerful! However, most strong drugs out there require professional help from doctors and detox centers.
So what can you expect in terms of withdrawal? If you don’t know, usually powerful drugs like painkillers or cocaine where you have a heavy dependence require the help of a detox center. Some don’t always require it, and it’s a personal family decision, but it’s always best to be safe and go to a doctor if you trying to come off painkillers and anti-anxiety medications.
Asking for medical help isn’t a weakness, because drug addiction is a serious affair. It’s also nothing to be ashamed of. What should you expect in terms of withdrawal? This guide goes over major drugs you may need help with.
Withdrawal Symptoms of Major Drugs:
Cocaine: Cocaine is such a powerful drug that it often takes professional help to come off from. The incredible highs, followed by incredible lows, can take you to a point near suicidal or completely manic. According to studies, you will often experience agitation, insomnia, anxiety, depression, fatigue, shakes, and many other states of high and low.
Heroin: While not as popular in some forms as cocaine, heroin isn’t something to be played with, as it’s one of the most addictive street drugs available. You can expect problems with body functions like watery eyes and stomach aches, as well as major mental problems like panic and anxiety.
Oxycontin: Like many painkiller drugs, Oxycontin numbs your senses. Its effects on the body are highly addictive too. You can expect extreme cravings, fatigue, hot and cold sweats, insomnia, and depression.
This brief list offers the common withdrawal symptons different forms of drugs have. There are, as you can see, many clear distinctions between them—but also similarities. Highs and lows, feelings of mania and panic—are all common to drug abusers. If you try to beat all of this on your own, you will likely not only go through a struggle mentally, but face major health problems. It’s simple: you’re dependent on the drugs physically, and you risk death by not getting professional help. On more positive note, there are thousands of clinics across the country who can help you. Once you get out, the support of family and friends is crucial in defeating drug addiction once and for all.

Light out of Drugs: Drug Addiction Roads

admin — Fri, 29 May 2009 06:25:54 +0000

Wondering is a dangerous place to be. It often means going down a road and making a choice. Drug addiction, the bane of modern society, means going down the same road again and again expecting different Results. Do that and you will get sick of walking. Meaning: drugs do things to each of us which asks to be repeated, and when you repeat them you are a drug addict.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, a place close to heaven (just south) where you can go in times of struggle. Follow this light all your days and you may change, you may take a different road.

Changing means:
Doing things differently is change. When you put down a drug-for good-you are making a big change. You can see it however you want to. What’s important is noticing the change and rewarding yourself for it. Change is good. Change is a different road.

Forgetting the pain:
Forgetting pain is a path down a different road. This road may be a little different than the original drug addicted road. It will lead to relapse. Don’t forget your days as a drug addict-remember them. It’s important to go towards the light, with all that you are, because in essence, what you are doing is seeing yourself going forward. Movement is a positive. Remembering is crucial to taking this road.

Learning from the pain:
Learning is one of those things you got in school. It made sense to you. Did drug use ever make sense to you? Sure, it can be a path to happiness. True: you will be happy for a while. Then you will hit the road of pain again.

Ending the Pain:
This is the true road to take. You can be creative with this, that path so many take. You can go meet people with your same drug problems. You can follow the light all the way to your own personal heaven. There is more, so much more. Just follow the signs along the way.

Asking for Help

admin — Wed, 27 May 2009 21:56:45 +0000

Asking for help isn’t easy for many families, because it so often means you’ve “failed” somehow. However, substance abuse extends beyond the family, and it is a worldwide problem. There is nothing to be truly ashamed of, and the only mistake is accepting that the addict can use. Whether it’s a father downing painkillers … a mother smoking marijuana … or a son or daughter drinking underage—substance abuse is about asking for help immediately before anything major happens. We’ve all heard the war stories of drug addicts losing everything to their addiction; the answer is to ask for help before that happens.

Drug Rehab – Part 5

admin — Sat, 16 May 2009 20:28:10 +0000

As I mentioned in my previous article, I was using “fake it until you make it” in the beginning of my recovery. The next day at the halfway house (after almost going out and drinking with Jay), I told Susan the halfway house manager that I’d almost drank the night before. The response I received from Susan was not what I had expected at all. She was pleased and responded with something like “You are telling on your disease”. Jay realized that Susan was pleased and immediately confessed the same thing to her. This incident in itself really ended my friendship with Jay. I guess Jay felt like I had betrayed him in some way by telling Susan about our little plan. Jay was pretty bad off because he was addicted to both coke and heroin. He told me that he did so much coke during the day that he needed the heroin to go to bed at night.

My daily life continued at the halfway house and I really had not shown any anger up until this point. One of the very common actions for an alcoholic or addict is to get very angry at the beginning of recovery. This anger is caused by resentments (things that happened to us in the past coming to the surface). In my case, I did not suffer from any psychical or mental abuse caused by family members. However; these types of events are very common with a lot of addicts. Unfortunately, I found that the counselors were forced to lump everyone into one group. This group or stereotype consisted of a broken home where other family members were drinking and/or using drugs, enabling or even abusing us. We were all also considered to be untrustworthy with all regards to drug and alcohol use. Addicts and alcoholics are known to lie about almost anything related to their drug use. (I used to think that I was not hurting anyone else, so it did not matter if I lied about how much pot I smoked). We were regularly drug tested because the counselors and doctors had a hard time telling if you were lying or not.

Even though I did not have very many family related issues, (primarily because my parents did not even know that I was smoking pot until about 2 weeks prior) I did have a lot of resentments toward other people. Some of these things consisted of events that had taken place in my childhood between me and other friends. More or less, I held grudges toward other people and I was not able to let go of them like a “normal person” would be able to do.

I noticed early on that the halfway house was a money based business. This made me mad in a lot of ways because people would “graduate from treatment” once the insurance company stopped paying. When I entered treatment I did not have any health insurance so my parents were paying cash for my treatment. I think they ended up paying in the range of about $30,000 (discounted for cash) for me to be there for a total of 30 days. With the amount of money being spent I was not happy that we were expected to be doing “chores” during our rehabilitation. Today of course, I realize that the chores were based on trying to get “most” alcoholics and addicts used to taking care of themselves. Unfortunately, this is where the “grouping of addicts” at a treatment center comes into play again. Honestly, I did not need to be doing these chores. I was a working and functioning alcoholic and addict when I arrived at treatment. These chores consisted of sweeping the floor in the lounge area, making up our beds, etc.

I was assigned two psychiatrists at Ridgeview and both of these psychiatrists were addictionologists (they specialized in treating alcohol and drug addiction). The Doctor that performed “my intervention” at Ridgeview was more or less my main psychiatrist. I believe his name was Dr. Margolis and I also remember that I didn’t like him.
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