On the first or second day in the half-way house, I went out with friends to a movie “Get Shorty”. I think it was at the dollar theater at the time, so it was cheap. This was my first venture away from the half-way house since I was admitted to rehab. Somehow the conversation of having just one beer was brought up and the others in the car stated that this was not something that you could do because it was cause you to go back to your drug of choice. Of course, alcohol was the drug of choice for a lot of people there in the first place. I did not fully understand because I really didn’t feel that I had a problem with alcohol. However; I was only kidding myself because I was definitely an alcoholic. The only reason why I switched over to using marijuana years earlier was because the side effects were much less than alcohol.  I always drank until I got sick and I did not like getting sick. My high school friends used to make fun of me once they saw that I was drinking my 6th beer.  They would say: Here goes Steve again trying to drink that 6th beer and expecting that he will not get sick this time.  I could never stop drinking until I was drunk, but it was definitely not my drug of choice, marijuana obviously was it.

During that first week in drug rehab I met some really nice people. One of my favorite individuals was a guy named “Jay”. Jay and I would have a blast at the 8AM and 4PM circle discussions. We joked around like crazy and were truly enjoying ourselves. During the circle meetings I was still stating my first name and indicating that I was a marijuana addict and that was all. At the circle meetings, the lady in charge of the Half-way house would make statements regarding various things to us. There were at least 2 or 3 people that she made comments about how it was there second or third time in rehab. She would say things like: Are you convinced this time that you really are an alcoholic and an addict? Do you think you will be able to stay sober this time when you leave?

During that first week, we immediately were directed by the staff and counselors that we must attend 12 step meetings or we would not be able to stay sober. This was my first real introduction to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). I say real introduction because when I was 19, a girl friend of mine took me to an AA meeting. I was really only there to watch one of her friends pick-up a chip. I remember her even stating that I was an alcoholic just like the people in the meeting. Of course, I did not pay any attention to what she said at that time. So, technically I had been to an alcoholics anonymous meeting before and had never put two and two together about what rehab was going to involve.

When I started attending meetings (this time for real in rehab) I listened and was shocked at some of the things I heard. Some people stated terrible things that had happened to them directly do to the effects of using drugs and alcohol. This was not something that I had in common because my drug of choice was marijuana and it did not cause me to spend all of my money and ruin my life (yet). The other thing that I immediately noticed was a big age difference between me and the other people attending these 12 step meetings. I was only 26 years old which is the only reason why my drug use had not caused me a lot of problems. It only makes sense now that I look back at my age and what I was doing at that time. If I would have used for another 10 years I probably would have found myself in 12 step meetings stating how my life had been ruined.

I should also mention the withdrawal effects that I was experiencing during the first week. Mainly I was just craving my drug of choice (Marijuana) or frankly any drug. The mental obsession and cravings were almost unbearable. My mind was stuck between wanting to stop using drugs and not. At night, I would dream like crazy. So, really the only withdrawal symptoms that I experienced were unusual dreams and that strong craving that makes your toes curl up.
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