Say No To Pot » Family of the addict

Interacting with Drug Addicted Loved Ones

admin — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:05:29 +0000

To adults drugs are often that one thing you should never play with, and much like fire it ends up hurting everyone who is around. Adults have more power in their hands to help fight drugs than anyone else in the family. They’re usually self-supporting, as well as educated and knowledgeable on drugs, and figures in the family who you can come talk to easily and find support from. This isn’t to put adults on a pedestal, but children and teens can want to change the world for their abusing siblings or parents, but can’t, while adults have more power in their hands.
The best way to help drug addicts within the family comes in two steps—seeing the warning signs, and interaction with the addicted. This guide uses a book quoted by the National Library of Medicine by D.M. Reilly called “Drug-Abusing Families.”
Warning Signs of Interaction:

Negativism: If everything between family members is “negative,” if everything comes from complaints, criticism, and other points of anger or resentment, then you see the initial warning signs of drug abuse.
Parental Inconsistency and Denial: Inconsistency in parenting is simply chaotic use of rule setting, where there is no enforcement of the rules and the family structure is weak. Denial is a different animal, where the parent refuses to believe their young son or daughter has a drug problem.
Anger Problems: You might think anger is in the same line as negativity, but here we’re talking about repressed anger, the mental and emotional states where children and teens cannot cope so they use drugs.
Self Medicating: Often drug addicts are trying to escape something in their life, a memory or moment they are ashamed of, or something perhaps they simply obsess about. If a parent or child is using drugs to cope with something, this is classic self medicating.
Unrealistic Parental Expectations: Lastly, parenting is perhaps that one science you can never completely master. If you had bad parents, you’re supposed to be a bad parent. If you’re an alcoholic, you must be a bad parent. When it comes to raising children, placing too high of expectations on them, or too low, can be damaging and lead to drug abuse. For instance, your son gets a job and you say it doesn’t suit them and they will fail. Surprisingly, children cope with this in many ways, not always with drugs. But for substance abusers, drugs are always an options.

Solutions on Interaction come from many sources. The best solution is to go to the opposite of these things, but even that can be somewhat problematic. Sometimes one person is “codependent” on the other, where they expect everything from them. It works out as one person trying to control the other, denying their own feelings, and having low self-esteem. In social terms, it used to be the husband or wife having a drinking problem and the spouse being the codependent, stuck with a substance abuser. In modern times, it applies to family dynamics in many ways, namely those with behavior or psychological problems.

Positives?

admin — Thu, 28 May 2009 05:05:20 +0000

Children have only been around since the beginning, and therefore children are more apt to adapt than we give them credit for. When they become teens, they want to be known as adults. When they become adults, they are apt to remember rebellious attitudes with laughter. Since children are so adapting, they can handle plenty. There are some odd positive effects on the child from an abusing parent. This isn’t a defense of the substance abuser, but just to shed light on a rarely discussed issue.
Children of substance abusers—whether it’s alcohol or illegal drugs—are able to handle extreme stress, disruption, and change. However, there is also the danger of the child taking on too much. For a substance abusing mother to put a load on a daughter to help with another child rarely turns out well. It’s important for each adult to take their place within the family, serving as the first role models and the first line of defense against substance abuse.

No Shining Answers

admin — Thu, 28 May 2009 05:01:44 +0000

There is no finale to all this, just as substance abuse has no end in sight. Yet for the modern family, society has created more and more solutions to the drug addiction problems. For those who suffer codependency from drug abusers, many 12 step programs have “Open Meetings,” where those close to addicts can share; there are also Al-Anon meetings for those with alcohol abusing loved ones. Society does recognize the problem, and for families the real shining answer is often drug addicts are able to quit. They just need help to do it.

Yes, drug abuse does effect everyone. However, many books in the past decade have pointed out both positive and negative effects of drug abuse on children of drug abusers, and even spouses. How does that work? Actually, negative consequences are far more common, but in the hearts and minds of children is the capacity to see good in the bad, to survive. After all, no one has had the perfect life! Drug abuse and addiction … does … affect everyone within society, within the family, and within major systems which fight the war on drugs. It comes not from a doctor or counselor, but from someone who experienced drug addiction for many years. There is a road to recovery and a lot of lives have been spared through the help of 12 step programs, family, friends and doctors.

Using Resources

admin — Wed, 27 May 2009 21:57:39 +0000

There are countless resources online which can help with the impact of substance abuse on families. There is also a growing body of literature on substance abuse in all its forms. Lastly, there are support groups for families battling these diseases. Personal interaction with other struggling parents and addicts gives you power, and going to support groups like Al-Anon, a support group for those affected by alcoholics, and other meetings like Narcotics Anonymous can make this disease more real. Families often feel helpless, especially if the addict is out of the house. Sometimes going directly for professional help is the answer.

Asking for Help

admin — Wed, 27 May 2009 21:56:45 +0000

Asking for help isn’t easy for many families, because it so often means you’ve “failed” somehow. However, substance abuse extends beyond the family, and it is a worldwide problem. There is nothing to be truly ashamed of, and the only mistake is accepting that the addict can use. Whether it’s a father downing painkillers … a mother smoking marijuana … or a son or daughter drinking underage—substance abuse is about asking for help immediately before anything major happens. We’ve all heard the war stories of drug addicts losing everything to their addiction; the answer is to ask for help before that happens.